Carol: You're so London, you're so Kensington Gardens, and I'm so San Antone... Julie: (spoken) What's wrong with that? Carol: You're so harp strings, you're so chamber ensemble, and I'm so saxophone... Julie: (spoken) It's my favourite instrument. Carol: You're so kippers, so caviar, and I'm so liverwurst... Julie: (spoken) It's delicious! Carol: You're so Shakespeare, so Bernard Shaw, and I'm so Fannie Hurst! Julie: (spoken) Fannie who? Carol: You're so Harpers, you're so Manchester Guardian, and I'm so Daily News... Julie: (spoken) Come on now... Carol: You're so white pumps, you're so pink satin slippers, and I'm so army shoes! Wherever you go, you belong... Julie: Oh Carol, you're wrong, wrong, wrong... You're so hi there, you're so put-her-there-partner! and I'm so how d'ya do... You're so pogo! You're so Pop-eye, and peanuts, and I'm so Winnie-the-Pooh... You're root beer! You're ginger ale! And I'm so lemon squash... You're so 'oh, hey bud, where's the ladies room?' and I'm so 'may I wash...?' You're so Mermen, you're so Rosalind Russell, and I'm so Deborah Kerr... Carol: (spoken) Oh I love her! Julie: You're so 4H! You're so SPCA! And I'm oh, so DAR....! Wherever you go, you belong...
Carol: No, you're wrong, wrong, wrong! You're so Pall Mall! You're so Benson & Hedges! Julie: (spoken) I don't smoke! Carol: And I'm so corn-cob pipe... Julie: (spoken) You shouldn't either... Carol: (spoken) D'you know what it's like going through life looking like a corn-cob pipe? Julie: (spoken) Oh, come on! You're coyote! Carol: (howls) Julie: You're prairie dog! And I'm so birds and bees... Carol: You're so dirndls! You're so petticoats! And I'm so PVDs...! Face it, Julie, you are HEAVEN! You know what you are, you're cotton-candy. You're Christmas! You're carnivals! Julie: (spoken) What? Carol: You're a little girl in her first prom dress, on her first date, all dressed up, tripping down the stairs with stars in her eyes! Julie: You're hayrides, you're Halloween! You're firecrackers on the fourth of July! You're a little child at his first ball game, waving his pennant in the breeze...erm...you're our boys overseas! Both: So.....we'll be partners! Just like hotdogs and mustard, a twosome, a duet! We'll be buddies, just like Huntley and Brinkley, we're... Carol: ...Andrews... Julie: ...and Burnett! Both: Wherever we go we belong, we belong, we belong....together!