('Twas the night before Christmas, the Burch home at peace
Yet two creatures were stirring, one thin, one obese)
Anthony: There are no Christmas games that are worth half a sh**.
I can't write a holiday HAWP. f**in'... sh**.
Ashly: Don't rhyme sh** with sh** (Ash whispered with haste
Then drew back her hand and b**h-slapped his face)
Ant: f**ing listen, you b**h! (yelled the thin, skinny queer)
Name me one goddamn game with holiday cheer
Ash: Well in Banjo Kazooie there was Freezeezy Peak
He had a sh**-ton of Christmas (said the short-statured freak)
Ant: That's just one world. Though you don't want to hear it,
Not a single full game is about Christmas spirit
Ash: Silly Anthony Burch, you've forgotten your roots.
The world of indie gaming bears your damn Christmas fruits
Garden Gnome Carnage is a game that delves
Into the war between gnomes and Santa's army of elves
Hurling bricks like bombs will build up a huge score
Uhh, something something something, your mom is a who*e
Ant: You want to play more?
Ash: Shut the f** up.
Pen Pen Olympics a speedy Christmas slalom
Ant: This is just SkiFree remade
Ash: WHAT THE DICK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Crowd favorite Line Rider is Christma**y in a way
The hero's got a snowcap and he rides a cool sleigh
Ant: I like the minimal graphics, the stark look of cleanness
Ash: Instead of a course I can just draw a penis!
Snowcraft is simple childish and easy
Yet sweet like a cookie, with a tone free and breezy
Ant: Everyone's played that game, you stupid, fat s*ut
(But still thinking of cookies, Ash replied only)
Ash: Wait, what?
Orsinal's Winterbells is cute and fun to play
Ash: Aw, look at the bunny!
Ant: What the f** are you gay?
Ash: Play Merry Gear Solid this time of year
It's a fun clever parody of
Papa Burch: METAL—
(Credits)
(Christma**y fanart)
Ash: Mewy Cwistmas Mudaf**as
(The Line Rider hero falls off the penis and plummets to his d**h)