Anthony: Hey Ash, whatcha playing?
Ashly: Persona 3.
Ant: Really? Persona 4 just came out, why would you even—(Ash shoots herself in the head).
Ant: We are gathered here today to pay our respects to Ashly Burch, who k**ed herself while trying to reenact Persona 3.
1: What's Persona 3?
Papa Burch: A game where you f**ing k** yourself, apparently.
Ant: That's not what it's about, she just oversimplified things.
1: What's it about, then?
Ant: Uh, you ah, collect monster things by exploring this big dungeon thing and making friends.
Justin: Like Pokémon?
Ant: No.
2: Like Pokémon with guns?
1: Like Pokémon where you k** yourself.
Justin: Wait, so Ash was a Pokémon?
Ant: No, it's not–
2: There are no guns?
Ant: There are no Pokémon.
Justin: I wish I were a Pokémon.
2: But there are guns.
1: And you do shoot yourself.
2: To make your monsters fight for you.
Justin: Does that mean you're a Pokémon too?
Ant: Yes. ...Yes to your question, not to your question.
1: So it's suicide Pokémon.
Ant: Seppuku Pokémon.
Ash: Seppukúmon.
Justin: Oh, so you were a trainer!
You found her in the tall gra**, munching aimlessly at whatever pa**ed by. You crouched hesitantly before hitting her with her elemental weakness. (Anthony slaps her.)
Ant: Look, the gun thing is just an evoker. It's just how you summon your personas, the fourth game doesn't even use a gun.
1: What does it use?
Ant: Cards.
Justin: Ash was a Pokémon card? (Anthony shoots himself.)
(Credits)
1: My Charmander casts Ember and your Mewtwo is knocked out!
2: f**!
Ash: Alright, deal me in. Me and Psyduck are gonna make it rain on you b**hes.