Anthony: Hey Ash, whatcha playing?
Ashly: Trauma Center!
Ash: Uuuggghhhhaaa....
Ant: What the hell's wrong with you?
Ash: Oh god.
Ant: Why are you on the—
Ash: I ate... I ate like eighty cookies.
Ant: Wh—
Ash: Like maybe ninety cookies.
Ant: You ate all our cookies?
Ash: So crazy.
Ant: Ash, I wanted some of those.
Ash: Yeah, but I ate them.
Ant: Jesus, Ash.
Ash: guuuuwwwwaaaa...
Ant: Do you think about anyone other than yourself? Ever?
Ash: I think I need a doctor.
Ant: A doctor?
Ash: Like a doctor for when you eat too many cookies.
Ant: You don't need a doctor, just go lie down.
Ash: I feel like my stomach's gonna explode.
Ant: Calm down.
Ash: Explode cookies everywhere.
Ant: Ash, I—
Ash: (Grabs him) You need to do surgery.
Ant: No.
Ash: Now.
Ant: No.
Ash: Yes. You played Trauma Center.
Ant: So what?
Ash: You have job experience.
Ant: Just because you played Harvest Moon doesn't mean you can farm.
Ash: Yes it does. I planted a garden.
Ant: (Looks over to Ash's "Gardin," a pot of soil containing a fork, a Link action figure, a half-empty bottle of Tobasco, and a kazoo.) I didn't even beat Trauma Center.
Ash: Nobody did, it's a f**in' Atlus Game.
Ash: People beat Atlus games.
Ant: No the don't.
Ant: I beat Odinsphere.
Ash: (Slaps him) Open this sh** up.
Ant: A, Trauma Center is not a simulation game. B, half that game requires (??) bullsh** diseases by solving lateral thinking puzzles with lightning-fast reflexes.
Ash: You want a Rubik's Cube or something then?
Ant: That's not my point.
Ash: Wanna play Simon?
Ant: I'm not—
Ash: (Hits the first bu*ton on Simon) Ughhh... your turn.
Ant: Where the f** did you get—
Ash: (Hits the next two bu*tons)
Ant: f** it. (Fishes a knife out of the drawer and gives it to her.) There. You operate.
Ash: A bu*ter knife?
Ant: (Shrugs.)
Ash: (To Trauma Center music) "I'm starting the operation!"
(Trauma Center surgery music plays as she nervously inches the knife toward her stomach.)
(As it gets close, she hesitates. Anthony pushes her hand downward.)
Ash: AAAAHHHH—
(Credits)
(Ash plays the kazoo while watering her garden.)