[Verse 1] I live in a box My name is Colonel Speak n Spell but the veterans of science call me Donavexx cause of uncommon text My favourite albums are dark and in Pat Benatar Before I made these raps I wanted to be a tennis star My friends said that I needed a fake rap name so I said Here's some fake shoes, don't ya feet feel good? MC's mow my lawn because I'm the man like repo No one believes you when I said I would grow up to battle Stezo Wear my hats like Devo Send d**h threats to Joe Clair My flavour's edible like sandwiches with no hair I give competition the annoying treatment by ringing their house every 5 minutes until they change their address I'm pen and pad-less so I write rhymes on ca**ette When I step on the court I wear the headband like Bill Walton My girl's got the moustache just like Andre Dawson I'll order 30 cheeseburgers and leave without napkins [Verse 2] My idea of thrills is ordering 734 CDs from Columbia House and not paying the bill like a champion
I'm tamperin With the notion of alienating all my friends by telling them I'm the d**h Slime Evaporator I had to take a Kenny G album cover to the hair stylists Show her what kind of haircut I wanted exactly I asked the Professor at my fashion school why David Bowie Had two different colour eyes My rhymes go to Yale Your rhymes go to community college struggling with a 2.3 Grade Point Average 2.3 years ago I made a salad out of fish eggs Now when I put a lightbulb in my mouth that Uncle Fester sh** happens I quit rapping in 1987 Now I'm on the comeback tour with the Carter Family, D-Nice and Abba opening for my group I am the king of weird rap, do I make myself clear? Yeah, this is Donavexx Imma f**in spray my fightjuice on all you b**h MCs For the near 1945 Yes, yes I'm chilling in the labatory with the Spacemouse And my man f**in George Wallace is on the wheels of steel So everyone eat a f**in Vegemite sandwich