Phil Donahue, we love you
Sally Jesse Raphael, the southern belle is also swell
But oh for a gun, oh for a gun
Oh for a gun just to k**, k**, k**, k**
Oh for a gun, oh for a gun
Oh for a gun just to k** Oprah Winfrey
'Go for it, go for it, be yourself USA!'
'Hi, my name's Carolina North, I'm from North Carolina!'
'Be yourself.'
'I don't know how many of you people out there know this but even as I speak I'm being sodomised by a ghost'
'Hey! let her finish!'
'In my previous existence I was Queen Nefertiti of Egypt'
'Me too!'
'Me too!'
'And at the moment I am a member of the Church of Latter Day Chanellers, ommmmmmm! And I'd just like to say.....'
There ought to be a law against you shooting off your mouth
I don't invite you in but you still get into my house
You've got the world upon your shoulders,
and a weight upon your mind
Tell you something, Oprah Winfrey,
there's more weight on your be...
Oh for a gun, oh for a gun
Oh for a gun just to k**, k**, k**, k**
Oh for a gun, oh for a gun
Oh for a gun just to k** Oprah Winfrey
'Oprah Winfrey is the fattest most powerful woman on the planet Earth. It takes the entire Guadalcan*l and three Kansas wheat belts to feed Oprah every day. Oprah Winfrey, you are the gross national product'
I'll get my guns and ammo, cruise down to LA Ask you for your autograph, and blow you away BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
And when the cops pick me up and take me to the station
I'll tell them very simply that I did it for the nation
And there's a reason for my plan,
something that they do not know
I'll sell the story of my life, and guest star on Heraldo
Oprah, Oprah, I want to turn you... OFF!