'does anyone here tonight believe in SATAN!
'SATAN!'
'well the numbers aren't really swelling there, ahh still quite concerned about the Satan thing. Now once again we must say at this point in the show we're not the sort of people are we Timmy?'
'no'
'we're not the sort of people are we Rich?'
'no'
We are not the sort of people who come along to your beautiful Christian caring community of Edinburgh here and start talking about Satan. And we are certainly not going to get a goat up here on the stage with us, slit it from its a** to its throat, drag out its intestines and start play elastics with them as part of some sort of bizarre satanic ceremony. We're gonna that cause its good fun!'
'Satan devil Beelzebub!'
Satan devil Beelzebub
Satan devil Beelzebub
Satan devil Beelzebub
(satanic babbling)
'that's the lyrics to achie breaky heart backwards'
'Now when I was at school, when I was at school we had a teacher, we were only six years old, and her name was Mrs. Staphord. And everybody in 1C, yes we were dumb, everybody in 1C was terrified of her, because we were convinced that she was possessed by the horned one! Cause every morning she would come in and she would go, "hello boys and girls" and then she would do this, she'd go....... "oh no she's cursing us with the devil!" Then sure enough after play lunch in she would come "hello boys and girls......" Turns out she was not possessed by the devil, she was epileptic!'