Three little unexpected children simultaneously
The doctor bought us in you can see
That we'll be three forever and E, I, O
You wouldn't know how agonizing being triplets can be
Each one is individually the victim of that clinical day E, I, O
Every summer we go away to Baden-Baden-Baden
Every winter we come back home to Walla-Walla-Walla
We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
We hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes about how hard it is to tell us apart
If one of us gets the measles
Then another one gets the measles
Then all of gets the measles and mumps and croup
How I wish I had a gun, a little gun
It would be fun to shoot the other two and only be one
Mrs. Hildendorfer loves to talk to Mrs. Goldenba**er
Of the day she went to Sloane's and had her silly Willy
Mrs. Ha**encooper loves to talk to Mrs. Eldenspritzel
Of her major operation when she had her twins
But when mother comes along she silences the others
She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers
For example just to prove that she was more than ample
She admits Lane Bryant thought
That they were measuring a giant
Dr. Heimerdanner almost lost his bedside manner
On the day that he first slipped upon us three
We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
We hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart
We eat the same kind of vittles
We drink from the same kind of bottles
We sit in the same kind of high chair, high chair, high chair
Momma says that we're a bore and what is more
She didn't want to have us
And we didn't want to have her, no more