1. I LOOKED DOWN INTO HER BLOODSHOT EYES SHE SAID “SAVE A BEER FOR ME" I SAID, "I’LL HAVE TO DRINK IT LATER CAUSE NOW I GOTTA PEE” SHE REACHED DOWN AND GRABBED MY GONADS AND SHE SQUEEZED ‘EM IN HER HAND SHE SAID “YOU AIN’T GOING NOWHERE CAUSE NOW I NEED A MAN” 2. BUT I GOTTA GO REAL BAD AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE I GOTTA BEAT IT FOR THE OUTHOUSE BEFORE I *** MY PANTS THEN WE BOTH HEARD SOMETHING COMING AND IT SOUNDED LIKE A TANK SHE SAID, “HOLY SIT IT'S TOIVO!” AND SHE GAME ‘EM ONE LAST YANK CHORUS: I WAS JUST A LONELY YOOPER SHE GRABBED ME BY THE RUMP SHE SAID HER HUSBAND TOIVO HE LAID THERE LIKE A STUMP
SHE SAID, “YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WE'LL BE SAFE OUT HERE" "TOIVO NEVER COMES TO CAMP UNLESS HE'S HUNTING DEER” 3. THEN I SAW OLE'’ TOIVO HE WAS LOADING UP HIS GUN I RAN OUT FOR THE OUTHOUSE, I THINK HE SAW ME RUN WHEN TOIVO CAME STOMPING DOWN THE PATH I THINK HE HEARD ME GROAN BUT WHEN HE OPENED THE OUTHOUSE DOOR THERE WAS NO ONE ON THE THRONE 4. I LOOKED UP FROM THE SIT PILE AT THE HOLE I JUST JUMPED THROUGH I WAS SINKING PAST MY SHOULDERS I WONDERED WHAT HE'D DO THEN TOIVO DROPPED HIS TROUSERS AND I WISHED THAT I WAS DEAD I COULD HEAR HIM UP THERE GIGGLING AS HE SIT UPON MY HEAD (REPEAT CHORUS)