My granny while on her d**hbed She turned and said to me "Why must you view life so morbidly? I tried to teach you right But somewhere I went wrong 'Cause you sing those d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs." When six pallbearers put her down And laid her body in the ground My eyes were wet, my face was very long The pastor said, "Son, here you are Won't you please take this guitar? Sing dear departed Granny one last song." And I sang d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Hell, you know that's how I get along The world is full of tragedy so how can it be wrong Singing d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs Well, I was shopping at Hot Topic And I was walking out the door When two dumb jocks came up to me They said, "Hey f*g, it ain't Halloween!" And they kicked my lipstick to the floor And I sang d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Hell, you know that's how I get along The world is full of idiots so how can it be wrong Singing d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs Well, I went down to church on Sunday I sat up front in a pew The priest said, "Jesus and Mary, too! Son, what the Devil's got into you? Get up and sing a hymn or two!" And I sang d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Hey, you know that's how I get along The world's full of hypocrisy so how can it be wrong Singing d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs
I was invited to the White House The president pulled me aside He said, "Son, sing us a song of peace For those evil-doers in the Middle East." I rolled my eyes and kicked this rhyme I sang... d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Hell, you know that's how I get along The world is full of double U's so how can it be wrong Singing d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs Well, then I died and went to Hell I could tell right away by the awful smell That this was clearly not the pearly gates The Devil said, "Come here young man My wife and I are your biggest fans!" So naturally I felt I had it made Well, then he reached into an iron chest And he picked the tool that he felt was best And then he jabbed me in the schlong With a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs He turned to me and winked and sang this song He sang d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Yeah, I know that's how you got along I find your songs hilarious but now your soul's precarious Singing your d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs I'm just kidding, kid. Welcome to Hell, enjoy the buffet! d**h, d**h, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs Hell, you know that's how we get along The world is full of sinners so how can it be wrong Singing d**h, d**h, d**h, d**h, devil, devil, evil, evil songs