Amateur Transplants - A Letter to the Patient's GP Please, Angela lyrics
Dear Dr Newland – new line.
Ree Mrs. Connor – comma.
We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma,
And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haematoma – comma.
Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9.
And she was on ventilation now she's stable – stop, new line.
She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck, and broken nose.
She's now in neck fixation - open brackets; brackets. Brackets closed.
We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nephrostomy.
We did a laparoscapy 'cause we thought that, apostrophy, 'd be necessary,
To elucidate any problems underlying.
Underline, err.. Underlying, please, Angela.
She had trouble with her colon, 'cause they found a ma** had grown on it,
However, semicolon, it turned out to be benign.
And yet they did a large resection, from her flexure to her rrectum.
That excision's a decision I don't understand. New line.
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She has... Dysdiadokokinesis – That's spelt
Dee-why-ess - dee-aai-aye-dee-oh-kay-oh-kay-ai-enn-ee-ess-ai-ess, comma.
I should also really mention that she went into retention
With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension - correction, flexion.
She has a cerebellar tremor, comma, possible rubella
Dyspepsia, dyslexia, and fractured left patella, comma.
We learnt that she was burnt so bad, she had to have a graft.
Now we're very happy how it looks, full stop, new paragraph.
Oh Angela... Can you add that she's on warfarin incase she has another mini-stroke – stroke, stroke.
We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently.
Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today.
But her ESR and CRP should rea**ure us.
So we'll see her back here in my clinic,