Amagortis - If You Can't f** It, Duct It lyrics

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Amagortis - If You Can't f** It, Duct It lyrics

You might be a loser You still need to get some sooner or later Your right hand isn't enough, need for something else than lubricant and Vaseline All your socks are stiff as f**. f** it! If you can't get laid, take a little time off Travel to the countryside. Duct it! It won't squeal on you in the same way the ladies do, and it won't laugh at you Look at the selection, you can have it all here Every size of p**y, no matter how depraved Go ahead and pick one. They all have their advantages Some of them stink, but others smell great! f** it! Come on, get your dick wet Don't be a f**ing pansy, you'll never get a p**y Duct it! If you can't get close, tape it to the bedpost f** it with your eyes closed Goats and sheep and pigs, cows, even chicken Tape them down and f** them like a beautiful woman Can't get p**y, don't get sad and let your head down Ask a farmer, he'll let you in the f**ing barnyard Do what you will any day Every day a wonderland that says "come back with your next pay" Whoever would've thought that furry little creatures don't just serve for meat and milk? Never would have guessed what good times are to be had with a cow and lubricant f** it! No one needs to know this. It can be your secret, you know it's better kept that way Duct it! You think you're better than a rapist? The only difference is the diseases you'll catch! I think I'll spell it out: f** it! Your f**ing co*k starts itching Duct it! Wait 'till you take a leak f** it! You better count those sheep now Duct it! The spanked monkey just bit back f** it! This sh** won't k** me, at least I get p**y! It's been a while Duct it! If you wanna f** it, gotta bring that duct tape every time!