Allan Sherman - Taking Lessons lyrics

The modern family Has time to burn We all take lessons We try to learn The latest new thing's We never do things We just take lessons My daughter Linda She takes ballet Her first recital Was yesterday She dropped her tutu And her left shoe too She needs more lessons Then there's my daughter Dottie She takes guitar, that's true Junior, he takes karate Smashed her guitar in two For all these lessons I have to pay I must raise money I found a way Read my brochure folks Learn how to be poor folks I'm giving lessons Our brand new puppy His name is spot He's being house-trained Our rug is shot Our very best room Became his restroom What good are lessons? Tom studies driving He took a ride He saw two buses Side by side He must have seen them He drove between them Does anybody wanna buy a long thin Mustang? My wife takes cooking lessons So help me, she flunked poached egg I took one skiing lesson You're wrong folks - I broke my arm I called the doctor In great despair But it was Wednesday He's never there He's on the links, folks His putting stinks, folks He's taking lessons