Allan Sherman - Second Hand Nose lyrics

Mother Nature made me Strictly second-rate Smart but not good-looking What an awful fate Girls don't go for IQ Eggheads ain't their style They don't say, "I like you." They don't even smile Well, Mother Nature, I'll get back at you Tomorrow morning, here's what I will do: I'm calling Dr. Max Rose That's who I chose He's gonna make me A second-hand nose I went to his office once or twice and All his patients looked like Barbra Streisand Then I'll get second-hand hair Second-hand teeth And contact lenses In a baby blue And elevator shoes, and then I'll melt the girls' hearts They can't resist a man with interchangeable parts Girls will go nuts Parked in my second-hand Stutz We'll sit there sniffing glue On Second Avenue!