Allan Sherman - Here's to the Crabgra** (feat. Jacqueline Ward) lyrics

Here's to the crabgra** Here's to the mortgage In fact, here's to Suburbia Lay down your briefcase Far from the rat race Where nothing can disturb ya Uncomplicated It's what we waited For so long in this city Come let us go there Live like Thoreau there A life of sweet simplicity Did you set the thermostat? No, I don't know where it's at Tuesday the Cub Scouts meet again Walk the dog and cut the gra** Take the kids to dancing cla** Jim's Little League got beat again Can't keep a maid here No matter what they're paid here The place has bad publicity Why did we move here? Don't you remember? To live in sweet simplicity Here's to mosquitos Clam dip and Fritos To golf and bridge and scuba there Men wearing knee pants Women in Capri pants Discussing what's with Cuba there Each big appliance Treats you with defiance Until it finally falls apart Call the repairman In a week he's there, man To knock your kitchen walls apart Tommy's got a bloody nose Gotta fix the garden hose Book Of The Month Club came today Didn't read the last one yet Yes you did, but you forget Oh well, they're all the same today Here's Mrs. Ritter She's the baby sitter Tonight we're going joyously Back to the city Where life is gay and witty Back to the noise there That everyone enjoys there Back to the crush there Hurry let us rush there Back to the rat race Don't forget your briefcase Back in the groove there Say why don't we move there Away from all of this Sweet simplicity