Alix Olson - America's On Sale lyrics

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!! Attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone ma**es The up and coming cla**es Attention sports-utility Plastic-surgery suburbanites Viagra-popping, gucci-shopping urbanites Attention george-clooney loonies Promise-keeper sheep Stockbroker sleep-walkers Big investment talkers Ricki lake-watchers Attention walmart congregation Shop til you drop generation ATTENTION NATION! AMERICA’S ON SALE! We’ve unstocked the welfare pantry To restock the wall street gentry It’s economically elementary Because values don’t pay Yes, american dreams are on permanent layaway! (there was limited availability anyway) The statue of liberty is being dismantled Ten dollars a piece to sit on your mantle Or hang on your wall By the small somalian child You bought from sally struthers Sisters and brothers, it’s now or never These deals won’t last forever- AMERICA’S ON SALE! (restrictions may apply if you’re black, gay or female) And shoppers! Global perspective is ninety-ninety percent off Cause most of the world don’t count to us Our ethic inventory is low Because moral business has been slow The values-company is moving to mexico-- And ALL ETHICS MUST GO! It’s a remote control America that’s on sale Because standing up for justice can’t compare To clicking through it from a lazy chair-- Answer: jerry, montel, oprah Question: folks who really care! For a million dollars! In this new mcveggie burger world order Where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme Where national health care is one hundred percent off! And medicare is in the fifty percent bin So you can buy--half an operation When AMERICA’S ON SALE! There’s a close-out bid to determine Which religion will win All the neon flashing signs of sin The Christian Coalition is bidding high Shoppers, you ask WHY?! Who needs a higher power when you’ve got The purchasing power To corner and market One human mold That’s right - Real family values Are being UNDERSOLD!! And it’s open hunting season for the NRA! There’s a special oozie discount-- only today! Gun control?! We say-- F*ck it! Blow it all away! Because inflation is up on the CEO ego And power is deflated as far as we go: Nike bought the revolution And law schools bought the constitution! Tommy Hilfiger bought the red, white, and blue (a flag shirt for fifty dollars The one being burned is you!) Marlboro bought what it means to be a man Lexus equals power- so get it while you can Maybelline bought beauty New York bought Rudy Guiliani Mastercard Gold bought the national soul Broadway bought talent and called it CATS! The Republicans bought out the Democrats- They liquidated all a**es in a fat white donkey sale- Now it’s buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free In the capitalist party! And there’s nothing left to get in the way Of a full blue-light blow-out Of the U.S. of A! There’s a no-nothing back guarantee A zero-year warranty When you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles, lays.. This home of the braves, the chiefs, the reds, the slaves! So call 1-800- i don’t care about sh** Or www.F*CK ALL OF IT! To receive your credit for the fate of our nation- (call now! Interest is at an all-time low) But hurry shoppers! Because america’s being downsized, citizens And you’re all fired