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Advocates - Substance Affliction lyrics

I just don't know, where do I go from here
Dead ends, dead friends, what's left for me?
Nothing can bring me back from this f**ing disease

I'm f**ed up, blind again
Its how I feel, its how I deal with internal conflicts in my head

One day I will destroy myself, been feeling like I'm somebody else
I'm trapped in the clutches of my past mistakes
What do I have to do to catch a f**ing break

Distant, oh so distant I should have let you in
Constant, oh so constant this pain just pull the pin!
I've been wasting my life away
I am a victim to the poison in my veins
[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/advocates/the-complex-truth/substance-affliction.html]

All my days are spent jaded and I am
Losing hope that I'll find a way out
Through the darkness I search for a light, to illuminate the path up ahead

I can feel my heartbeat rising, every second makes me feel that I am nothing
Pushing my face to the ground
I've been beaten and bruised, used and abused. The way I see i've got nothing left to lose

Thoughts creeping at the back of my mind
I've gone to far and now I'm running out of time
Break these f**ing walls that are confining me, the room is spinning please god don't let this define me!

Will this ever end
Put a gun to my f**ing head, and set me free oh let me start again

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