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Adam West - All I Really Want For Christmas lyrics

Peter:
Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. All of us here at Family Guy would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Jew Christmas, depending on your religion.

Lois:
Peter, it's Hanukkah.

Peter:
Oh, sorry.

[Chris laughs]

Meg:
Shut up, Chris! This is supposed to be serious!

Chris:
Okay, we've prepared a musical holiday greeting that we would like to sing for you.

Lois:
Brian, would you start us off?

Brian:
Sure.

Stewie:
You know, I heard we can say dirty words on this album.

Chris:
Ha ha, Boobie! I said boobie. Did you hear me? Ha, I said it twice.

Brian:
Okay, okay, take it easy, you guys [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen, the lush arrangements of Walter Murphy.

[synthesized orchestra begins playing]

The snow is glistening in the trees,
As Christmas carols fill the breeze,
And children pray on bended knees...

Stewie:
Santa Claus, be sure you don't
Screw up my freakin' order, please!

Brian:
Great, thanks for destroying the mood.

Chris:
Dad, what do you want for Christmas?

Peter:
Ah, let's see...
Britney Spears and Courtney Cox
Wearing nothing but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year!

Brian:
Well, that's just not practical.

Peter:
Plenty of beer and so much scotch
That I hit on my own crotch
Is all I really want for Christmas this year!
How about you Lois, what do you want?

Lois:
All my flabbin' cellulite surgically uprooted
Then installed in Julia Roberts' a**, Ha!
Spending a steamy night between
Kevin and his partner Bean
Giggling as they remove my bra**iere.

Peter & Lois:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year

Lois:
What do you want, Meg?

Stewie:
How about something to remove her Matt Houston mustache?

Meg:
I want a house in Malibu
And a cure for bacne, too.
That's all I really want for Christmas this year!

Chris:
Eww! You have bacne!

Meg:
Shut up, Chris!

Peter:
Anything else, honey?

Meg:
I want a singing navel, Dad,
Just like on that Levi's ad.
That's all I really want for Christmas this year!

Brian:
All I can say is, thank God that advertising firm doesn't do tampons.

Chris:
Now me!
There's an evil monkey, who's
Living in my closet,
I just wish he'd go away and die,
I want Jillian Barberie,
Rubbing up real close to me
Saying dirty, bad things into my ear.

Stewie:
Oh, she's atrocious.

Chris:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year

Stewie:
Well, it's your turn, dog. As if anyone gives a two-shilling sh** about what you want.

Brian:
Every year I've prayed and prayed
For a girl who isn't spayed.
That's all I really want for Christmas this year.

Chris:
What does spayed mean?

Peter:
Oh, you know, like Melissa Etheridge.

Brian:
I'd love it if you would not hara** me
When I start to chew my a**
That's all I really want for Christmas this year!
Your turn, kid.

Stewie:
Is it awfully much to have
Just one evening weekly
Where there is no cover charge at Rage?

Brian:
I knew it!

Stewie:
Knew what?

Lois' name I'd love to see
With the letters R.I.P.
She's alive and well, but let's play by ear.

All:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year!

Stewie:
Oh, dear. That high note rather did me in. Would somebody please change me?
Road to the North Pole version

Peter:
Jessica Biel and Megan Fox
[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/adam-west/-/all-i-really-want-for-christmas.html]
Wearin' nothin' but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Brian:
Well, that's just not practical.

Lois:
Spending a week in Mexico
With some black guys and some blow
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Peter:
Aw, that sounds terrific. How about you, kids?

Chris:
I would like a pair of skates,
Then I'd go out skating,
But I really don't know how to skate.
Ha-ha!

Meg:
I want a Lexus all in pink
And a dad who doesn't drink.

Peter:
Oh, and that reminds me, twelve kegs of beer.
The Griffins (except Brian):
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian:
Santa's got his work cut out for him.

Peter:
Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet.

Lois:
I wanna tour the Spanish coast...

Peter:
Lunch with Michael Landon's ghost...

Peter and Lois:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Lois:
Wait, what?

Peter:
Forget it. Keep goin'.

Chris:
Jennifer Garner in my bed...

Meg:
Softer voices in my head...

Chris and Meg:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Stewie:
Yellow cake uranium.
Never mind the reason.
Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball.
[laughs]

Brian:
Doesn't this seem like too much stuff?

Peter:
Poo on you! It's not enough!

DVD Lyrics:
s** my dick. It's not enough!

Stewie:
Buddy boy, I got your Christmas right here. [grabs his crotch]
DVD Lyrics: Why don't you go out and chase cars, you queer!

Brian:
Look who's talking.

The Griffins:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian:
I'm just saying it seems a bit excessive.

Lois:
Oh, get off your soapbox, Brian, it's Christmas.

Peter:
And Christmas is about gettin'. Everyone in town knows that.

Quagmire:
Japanese girls with no restraint
Just to choke me till I faint
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Ooh, giggity!

Bonnie:
Platinum-plated silverware...

Joe:
Just one day when kids don't stare...

Bonnie and Joe:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Mort:
If you put a Christmas tree
In the public airport,
I will go to court and sue your a**!
Happy holiday!

Mayor Adam West:
Wouldn't I love a Tinkertoy?

Herbert:
And a little drummer boy.
He can either tap his drum or my rear.

Mayor Adam West, Herbert and Mort:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Tom Tucker:
I want a golden mustache comb.

Angela:
And some s**micidal foam.

Tom Tucker and Angela:
That's all I really want for Christmas this year.

Carter:
I want a brand new pitching wedge.

Consuela:
I would like more Lemon Pledge.

Carter and Consuela:
That's all I really want for Christmas this year.

Bruce:
I just want a wedding ring
From someone named Jeffrey.

Jillian:
I just want some colored Easter eggs.

Carl:
I want a Blu-ray of The Wiz.

Tomak:
We don't know what "Christmas" is.

Bellgarde:
We have something else called "Kishgev Fufleer".
Everyone (except Brian):
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

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