Adam Sandler - My Old Chair lyrics

My old chair Is like a big comfy friend It's soft and it's fuzzy With a brownish orangey blend But the padding is gone, and I'm sorry to say I think it's time for me to throw my chair away Ohhh nooo.... So I sit in you one last time I promise not to cry Pull on your handle Then recline and say goodbye So I put you out on the curb And I wish you good luck Then I see a guy with a mullet drive by And put you in the back of his truck And I hope that he'll be good to you Do the things that I couldn't do And I hope he gives you more than me I hope that he is good company But when I climb into my bed And I turn off the lights I'll be wondering Who's farting in your cushion tonight I could always fart on you You were always in the mood Even that one summer When I was eating lots of Indian food But I miss you more than ever And I know I'm to blame I guess I can fart on the couch now But baby it's just not the same And I miss you baby oh so much Your giant bu*tons and your velvet touch And I miss you more than anything The ball poking of your broken spring If loving a chair is wrong I don't wanna be right So I'm wondering Who's farting in your cushion tonight Do you remember the night We watched the movie Nobert And everytime I broke wind You were happy to absorb it And after I go jogging My sweaty a** would get your seat wet And when I accidentally shat in my pants You kept it a secret And I think that I should let you know I'm sorry that I let you go And everyday I hope I see My chair on the curb just waiting for me I dream about you all the time And I hope you're all right Thats why I'm wondering Who's farting in your cushion tonight Cause I wish it was me Who's farting in your cushion tonight